Book 1: Prince of Thorns

I've seen this book quite a few times on my recommended list from Amazon, based on my purchasing history of course. Seemed like a natural to put on my wishlist. There's a lot to like and a lot not to like in Mark Lawrence's "Prince of Thorns" a book that I had more conflicting feelings about than just about any other I've ever read. On one hand, it is brash, crazy, and totally over the top. Jorg Ancrath is one of the irredeemably despicable central characters in a long time, which, of course, plays to my overly masculine desire to read about a lot of intriguing action and death scenes. But, alas, this is ultimately an empty pursuit that needs to be balanced by something other than heaping helpings of loathsome activities. If there were a better counter balance within the novel itself as played by a someone, anyone, who wasn't entirely contemptible in their actions or pursuits, it might have been able to elevate above just being a revenge fantasy genre book. It almost feels like a cynical approach to readership that we'll just accept any horrible abuse as "part of the character" or "necessary for the story". The tepid attempts at some sort of redemption are almost more cynical in that there really is no redemption for any of the characters outside of death and a chance to start over. There were a couple of intriguing characters introduced much later in the book. Being said, I actually still enjoyed many aspects of the book. There are moments when the writing really escalates and Lawrence shows his chops. Even though most of the characters are stock types found in nearly every fantasy ever written, they are still fun and darkly humorous at times. I just really wish that Lawrence could have pulled this up from the gutter a bit more (though I think he does in the second book).

100 books in a year

Sooo, for Christmas, my wife and pops decided to split the entirety of my wish list on Amazon, putting a ton of pressure on me (all perceived) to step up my reading game. My moms included a gift certificate to B&N, so I got some additional books as well. Added to my usual backlog of books, I've got a ton of books. So, I figure, what, 8 books a month and I can hit 100 books? As of this writing, I've hit eight this month, six more on my shelf, and a wishlist of 37. So, I'm going to give it a shot. If anyone is so inclined and wants there book on my list, I'll happily accept any donations. I promise that if I don't like it for whatever reason(if it's from an indie type publisher of self published, I won't write about it. Of course anyone is free to look at my wish list at Amazon and send a copy my way. Most of what I read is bit off the beaten path and I love indie type stuff.

Johannes Cabal and the Fear Institute

One of my all time favorite literary characters is back! Johannes Cabal, notorious necromancer, reluctant private detective, and generally disdainful fop visits the dreamlands. Almost halfway through, and I have to admit, it's a bit of a slog. Cabal is still at his snarky best, dealing with morons (to him, that covers 98% of the human population) and invoking Nyarlothotep to do his somewhere just south of evil biddings (but well north of morally ambiguous let alone actual good). I think I'm having a hard time adjusting to the setting, which is an expansive dreamland, where the terrestrial characters seemingly act as if they are just on an adventure to Zanzibar rather than IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE DREAMLANDS! There's a Gaiman-esque quality to it, though that's probably because of my limited frame of reference. But, whereas Gaiman delights in his odd curiosities and characters from the ethereal and borderline mythic lands that he creates, Howard seems to despise them. Makes sense, I suppose, as Cabal hasn't met a person worthy of his scorn, but it gets difficult to really enjoy. Plus, the dreamlands themselves, which make no sense on the surface, don't really make any sense. On one hand, they are the ephemeral landscapes one would sort of suspect, but on the other, the people and places are also a bit too, well, logical. Again, I think this is the intent, but it's a little disconcerting and most of all distracting. I'll probably shift my thoughts fairly quickly as Cabal finds more ways of artfully dodging any serious harm.

SF Gate/Chronicle 100 Places I've been

First off, I think it's funny that MB starts his article with some claptrap about chefs finally embracing California Cuisine. The problem I have with many restaurants in SF, and especially those that MB favors, is that they are too geared towards California Cuisine. Sure, I like food where the ingredients star, but seems like California Cuisine has become code for the most obscure heirloom fresh farm ingredients on our menu. If the food is good, I don't need a primer on where it came from, how it was raised, how many hours it rode. Just give me some good food goddamit. OK, rant over. Here's where I've been.

Absinthe: Went there after it opened about 10 years ago. Thought it good, but overpriced. Recently visited for lunch and the dining room was much smaller and cramped feeling than I remember and the menu was terribly disappointing. Food was good, but choose from not very interesting sandwiches/salads or overpriced entrees (sorry but $25+ for lunch entrees is too much). Does not belong.

Acquerello: Again, was there like a decade ago. Food was amazing and I still remember a pasta with a truffle cream sauce. Astonishingly good food, but back then, decor needed an update. If they haven't done so, then it really needs one now. Belongs.

Betelnut: It's been like 15 years. Remember it as a great, lively environment with much better food than was expected. Belongs.

Boulevard: Only had desert here, but it was fantastic. Belongs.

Chapeau: Anyone who knows any details about MB knows that he absolutely loves this place. I went to it when it was further out in the Richmond and thought it a good French Bistro, but not particularly memorable other than the most crowded dining room I've ever been in. On the fence.

Coco500: Took the baby there about three years ago. Was good, but not terribly memorable, mostly cause of the rugrat. On the fence.

Delfina: In my mind, the most overrated restaurant in SF. I was there shortly after it opened with as much fanfare as I've ever seen, and thought, mmm, interesting, rock salt really does make the flavors jump. It's good, bordering on great, but, at least in my experience, I didn't see a lot of originality or creativity and the food was so simply prepared that I felt it wouldn't take much effort to duplicate at home. But maybe that's the ingenuity of great cooking. Still, left a bit disappointed. I need to go back and try to block out the expectations before saying it belongs (though it probably does).

Fifth Floor: Went here for desert and cheese course. Felt a bit stuffy, but that's actually okay with me. Need to have dinner to have a decent opinion.

Foreign Cinema: Been here twice. I don't get it. That's okay, but I don't get it. Doesn't belong.

French Laundry: Funny that MB takes out Jardinierre because of price, but doesn't say anything about French Laundry. Money being no object, best meal of my life. Belongs.

Gary Danko: Better value than places like French Laundry. Some of the best service (I'll take a bit suffocating over ignored any day). Absolutely belongs.

Greens: Been here twice and didn't really understand it. Food seemed inventive in theory, but it never really grabbed me. Still, the view is amazing, it has a sneaky awesome wine list and probably belongs for these two elements alone.

House of Prime Rib: I've been going at least once a year for 35 years. Belongs.

Incanto: One of my favorites and I'm surprised that stuff MB actually liked this place. Menu is wildly inventive, straying far beyond MB's usual chicken/fish/steak wheelhouse. Absolutely belongs.

Koi Palace: Went here for my college graduation five years ago. Absolutely great, but the bigger the group the better. Belongs, but there are a lot of great Asian places not mentioned, so it feels a bit forced.

Mateo's Cucina Latina: Food is great, but watch out for the prices. It would be better integrating it's Yucatan heritage into the name rather than the generic "latina". Probably belongs, but again, there are a lot of great latin restaurants that get no love from MB.

Nopalito: I'm surprised that he dings other joints for losing focus. The menu here isn't particularly dynamic and the setting kinda sucks. Used to go here quite a bit, but the food isn't what it was. Doesn't belong.

One Market: Went here for the pig tasting menu. Strangely uninteresting. Would like to go back. Incomplete.

Piperade: Maybe the best tapas place in the US. Absolutely belongs.

Slanted Door: I've been here quite a few times over the years. I think it's living on its legacy a bit. Still, the digs at the Ferry building can't be beat. But there's a lot of much better Vietnamese food in the bay area. Belongs thanks to it's location and reputation, but I don't think I'd put it there.

Town Hall: Went there a few weeks ago for a work dinner. Not terribly memorable. Not really sure if it belongs.

Yank Sing: Food is pretty darn good. I want to dislike this more as a round eye version of dim sum, but can't seem to do it, especially after being in HKG. Belongs.

Zarzuela: Good, but not near the caliber of Piperade. More like comfort tapas. I don't think it really belongs.

Zuni Cafe: Every time I go here, I have so much fun. Food isn't always memorable, but such a good time. Belongs.

One Market Dining Review

The wife and I stopped by One Market on whim last Friday night. Wanting to see a movie, we got waylayed by the typical SF traffic, so rather seeing another dumb comedy where the funniest scenes are in the commercials, we opted instead to hit up One Market. Strangely, I've never been there despite working in the vicinity for 10 years and having many friends who worked there at some point.

Other than the crazy guy swinging his arms at imagined bumblebees, getting in was fine. We were asked if the "exhibition counter" would be fine and, thinking that sounded fun, we went for it. It felt more like eating in the kitchen with the overbright lighting, heat from the stoves, and mess of a waiters station that greeted us. No matter, our waitress was prompt and very efficient (and struck perfect notes on the charm/leave us be meter). We went for the food of the week tasting, which was pork, my favorite. Unfortunately, the preparation were tired or derivative without much flair (other than the desert).

Course one was seared pork belly over spaghetti squash. Though it reminded me that I like Spag Squash more than I remember, the pork belly itself wasn't terribly interesting. The sear was more tough than tasty crunchy and the vaguely asian sauce was too sweet to give it a needed push.

Course two was a well executed shellfish and pork sausage stew? soup? broth? sorta thing. Calamari, clams, and sausage. But I've had better iterations of this with more verve at Spanish restaurants.

Course three, while well intentioned, really disappointed. Menu said pork shoulder, which is my favorite cut when slow cooked, but the sous vide version just didn't get me excited, lacking the rich, robust flavor I'm accustomed to. This might be an expectation thing as I think I expected something like a gourmet rendition of Carnitas rather than a fairly bland meat with an unexpected texture (I haven't decided if I liked the firm yet tender texture, but I think I do. Just wasn't expecting it). And I've already forgotted what it was served with.

Desert was a hit, with bacon ice cream and a chocolate cake. Tasted great though lacking inspiration.

Service was fine with a few missteps (the first course came well before we finished our cocktails and well before the wine pairing), but the waitress was on her game, extremely attentive without going overboard despite what looked like a pretty big station.

Little Work Diddy

I got a call from Fedex for a package my company was sending. The address was 12 New Terrorist, Suite 12. After calls with security from my organization and Fedex, we found that the correct address was 12 New Terrace. Someone jacked up the spell check.

Why waiters love you

I've been on a rant about waiters in San Francisco, but there are a lot of things you can do to make a waiter happy outside of a big tip. Here are a few things to do to look like a true pro when dining. Failing to do these does not mean that you will be hated by a waiter. My one big assumption is that the waiter actually cares about the quality of your dining experience. And these are all things you can choose to do. The inverse should not get you any less service than everyone else, but it will set you apart from other diners.

1) Leave a tip in cash. Different restaurant have different policies concerning how to declare tip or allocate to the support stasff. A cash tip puts the power in the hands of the waiter. Whether or not you agree with wait staff reporting less in tips, cash is always appreciated.

2) Request them by name when you return. I'm from the school that a good waiter never introduces themselves by name, especially in high end places. But as a patron, I will ask at the end of a particularly good meal so I can both complement the waiter to the host staff/management and ask by name for future visits. Failing this, most checks nowadays have the waiter's name on it.

3) Close your menu when you are ready to order. This is the biggest clue for a waiter to return and take your order. If the menu doesn't close, then simply put aside.

4) Ask for an opinion. This is probably a bit divisive, but every waiter should have enough of a handle on the food to offer an informed opinion. If a restaurant doesn't have sommelier, wine steward, or someone else with wine expertise, the waiter shoud also be able to provide solid wine recommendations. The better waiters I've known are happy to discuss the food or wine, as long as it isn't a lengthy discourse.

5) Be clear on your food/time requirements. At the very least, indicate food allergies, like dairy, peanuts, or wheat as well as vegan/vegeterian requirements. Some people with complex allergies present cards that indicate common items that they cannot eat. It may seem like overkill, but a waiter's job is to ensure that you leave happy and getting the right information is critical. If you have a movie, play, or just have need for leaving at a certain time, let your waiter know. They should be able to steer you in the right direction if something will delay you. Keep in mind that most places at lunch work on the goal of getting you out within an hour, not necessarily because they want the table turned (although this factors into it), but more because that is the expectation of most people dining.

6) Leave a taste of wine for the waiter. This is especially true if you brought your own or order an expensive wine. By no means mandatory, it shows a lot of respect for the waiter and the staff.

7) Use nonverbal communication. Pointing to an empty wine bottle, a subtle pantomime of signing a check, and even silverware placement are all clues as to your needs.

8) Look appropriate for where you are dining. Sure, a backwards hat, a Patrick Willis Jersey, and sweats works fine for a greasy hangover cure at Mel's on Saturday morning, but not at the hottest spot in town. Good waiters take pride in where they work and notice when someone respects their restaurant.

9) Be discreet with any complaints or mistakes. One time, after an anniversary meal, the waiter mixed up my check with another table. Happens and no big deal. I discretely called over the waiter. When he went to change the checks, the other table had a huge guffaw over how much I spent, going so far as to comment to me directly. Discretion is always appreciated.

10) Smile. Seems silly to mention it, but if you are enjoying yourself, smile. It's one of the clearest indications that you are enjoying yourself, which ultimately is the waiter's job.